Chuck Norris Responds To Random Facts
Chuck Norris as a KID!! Read all about it here!
One of our most popular articles on Sandstorming.com has been Random Facts About Chuck Norris. In fact, The Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator has become an Internet phenomenon, forwarded on through emails, forums and word of mouth. The site itself, www.4q.cc/chuck, has had over 28.7 million visits, with 18 million of them happening in the last month or so, according to an article by The Washington Post.
With this kind of popularity, it was inevitable that it would find its way to Mr Norris at some stage or another. So finally, the legend himself has spoken, issuing a response to these alleged facts on his own website:
IN RESPONSE TO THE “RANDOM FACTS” THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNETI’m aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as “Chuck Norris facts.” I’ve seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I’m not quite sure what to make of it. It’s quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, “Against All Odds?” They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, “The Justice Riders,” released this month. I’m very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris
Unfortunately, the post was simply dated “TODAY”, so I am unsure how long ago this was written. Sufficient to say, he is definitely not a student of the “wild world of the Internet”, otherwise he would’ve learnt to date things properly. However, I do applaud the man for managing to plug his books in the same paragraph.
The website itself (ChuckNorris.com) had me in stitches almost as much as his Random Facts did. From the “personal” audio welcome from the king of roundhouse kicks himself, to the brooding photos scrolling in the banner at the top of every page. Sadly, his chatroom is now closed because of “abuse” (I suspect this happened around the time that the Random Facts became popular), and in the Chuck Norris Shop, you can actually buy his “Code of Ethics” for US$10.95.
I’m just glad to see the man has a sense of humour, otherwise he would’ve already come over and roundhouse kicked me in the face followed by a swift punch to the groin before I’d even managed to start writing this article.
Megan said,
January 11, 2006 at 10:09 am
The chat room has been closed for a very long time, and the post about your “random” facts appeared on 1-6-05. So both of your questions are answered, and now you can congratulate me for getting them both in the same paragraph. … And by the way, please don’t pick on his website, too? That’d just be to much.
Theoldnokiaboy said,
January 11, 2006 at 11:37 am
Too Much fun megan. Or too easy! And yes, i didn’t make megan Capital M. Suck it. And please stop quoting the bible trying to save/save norris.
Noob
Megan said,
January 12, 2006 at 10:48 am
I’m sorry you feel that way. And for the record, I am going to continue to try and save Chuck Norris. … Although, he doesn’t really need me to save him. He could shut this site down, if he wanted. So count your blessings. … And by the way, think and say want you want about me, but leave him alone.
Megan said,
January 12, 2006 at 10:54 am
And as for the Bible, … well, that’s another matter entirely, and I’m not surprised that you want me to stop quoting it. After all, who wants to hear the Word of the Lord, when they’re supporting a site that promotes trash against one of His children? … Look, I’m not here to fight with anyone. I’m just here to defend a man that I highly respect. So let’s not fight. And if you guys really want to show him how much you care about him, please, stop writing this trash. I’m sure he’d really appreciate it.
Doc said,
January 12, 2006 at 8:20 pm
Megan, you are absolutely right. Chuck Norris NEVER needs saving, and if he ever did, he’d rather commit suicide by roundhouse kicking himself in the head.
As for shutting the site down, Chuck Norris is currently in negotiations (and by that I mean he says it and it happens) about creating a reality TV series in which he travels around the world destroying every server that hosts a website that wrote an article about the random facts - with his bare hands/feet. This includes the Los Angeles Times and The Washington Post. The show will be called “Chuck Norris Boots Up Your System” and his catchcry at the end of each episode is “I bet that Megahertz!”
Keep an eye out for it in Fall 2006.
JuLz said,
January 12, 2006 at 8:46 pm
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris does not go hunting because “hunting” implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
By the way Megan, Norris wont be able to stop all the sites posting comments and facts about him no matter how hard he tried (Unless he roundhouse kicks the internet..which he COULD do, if he wanted).
So bl2u
Chaff said,
January 13, 2006 at 1:27 pm
I don’t get your problem Megan, we love Chuck Norris. All of us. If only because we fear him.
Also because Chuck Norris could destroy the internet at any moment he must approve of anything that goes on it by simple fact that it is on it.
OG said,
January 13, 2006 at 3:14 pm
Erm…
Who’s Chuck Norris?
Megan said,
January 14, 2006 at 2:51 am
Thank you for that interesting bit of news, Doc. And although I’m sure it’s just a joke, I enjoyed reading it anyway. And as for the rest of you, he most certainly can shut all these sites down, if he chooses. But, … there’s no need of debating that. … And, I’m glad to hear that you all love him, “if only because we fear him”. … So, if you fear him, why take the chance on having him slap a lawsuit on you? Although, obviously he’s not going to do that. But it scare you, even just a little bit? … If you did this to the wrong person, they might get really angry.
Megan said,
January 14, 2006 at 2:59 am
And to clarify that, I’m talking about the site. If I had a site like this, I’d think I’d be a little scared that I’d be shut down. … But, there again, there’s always two ways to look at all of this. He’s a very popular guy, right now, and he just might have some major book sales on account of these things. Or, the other way you could look at it is: what goes around, comes around. … Remember that when you crawl into bed tonight. … Don’t let your conscious bite! … Hee, hee! … I don’t think I’m going to worry about this so much, anymore. Because, after all, when all of you stand before God on Judgement Day, you’ll be the one’s explaining why you did this, not me. And you’ll be the ones squirming, because there’s no way out, when your standing in front of Almighty God.
Rex said,
January 14, 2006 at 6:10 pm
Megan, are you Chuck Norris’s love child?
Chaff said,
January 14, 2006 at 9:38 pm
Megan, I think you are taking this a little too seriously.
We arn’t actually trying to hurt him here, if we were we would say something a little meaner than “Chuck Norris was the original treasure in National Treasure”. We know how to, and we would.
Also I never saw the part of the bible where it said “Thou shall not give mad props to Chuck Norris for fictional events which he will later regard as a curiosity.” and I should know, I’ve read it a couple of times…
Zuser said,
January 15, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Megan, I fear the day of judgment as do all the writers on this forum. On judgement day we will be standing before Chuck Norris himself.
That is all.
OG said,
January 16, 2006 at 6:32 pm
I still ask the question…
“Who the f%$k is Chuck Norris???”
Megan said,
January 16, 2006 at 7:17 pm
Someone please kill me, i am a whiny little bitch.
I touch animals.
That is all.
Chaff said,
January 16, 2006 at 11:03 pm
Just to throw a random guess out there, i’m going to say that that wasn’t Megan…
Megan said,
January 19, 2006 at 6:32 am
That definitely wasn’t me! I don’t know who wrote that one, but, … wow! Is that the best you’ve got? … And no, the Bible doesn’t say anything about Chuck Norris, and you won’t be standing in front of him, on Judgement Day. You will be standing in front of God. But I’m guessing you already know that.
Megan said,
January 19, 2006 at 8:01 am
“random” facts about Megan! … Haa, haa! Oh, I’m sorry, wrong section!
Anonymous said,
January 19, 2006 at 3:22 pm
How do you know the bible is right? It’s been rewritten, mistranslated when in conversion from hebrew to latin. and bits have been left out.
We hear about miracles all the time around the world, about people who think they are gods or capable of healing etc, surely there were people like that two thousand years ago as well. Perhaps the bible is merely an exaggerated series of tales and folklore. Not that that makes it useless.
What about the other religions, what makes their tale more or less correct? Seriously. Maybe you just decide to believe what you have been spoon-fed from a young age because you couldn’t bear to see the world in any other way. And why are you bothering writing in the forums here if it makes you so upset? i guarantee you have not changed anyones mind here. People here are just amused by your antics and are just provoking you because it amused us all to see you attempting to rebut the things we write when we honestly don’t care about your issues.
Of course right now your thinking i’m just a misguided soul, but you don’t respect anyones opinion enough to have a deep think about my point first.
If you think you are serving your beliefs by writing here, but i assure you are wasting your time.
Chuck Norris would probably agree.
im megan beaten by chuck norris said,
January 20, 2006 at 10:10 am
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris entered into Ultimate Fighting Championship they changed the name to Instant Death.
hey megan why dont you just check out this link number 301 and 302 by me you need to learn how to behave by chuck norris way a roundhouse kick to the face
http://www.sandstorming.com/2005/09/random-facts-about-chuck-norris/
Megan said,
January 20, 2006 at 10:47 pm
Im a whore and a Judas, Chuck Norris can go to hell, its a surprise hes lasted so long but then again what hasnt on fox. btw i got raped at schoolies twice
Jeff said,
January 21, 2006 at 4:38 am
Eh, Walker Texas Ranger was on USA.
Megan said,
January 21, 2006 at 8:33 am
Anonomous, the Bible is not a book that man would write if he could, and could write if he would. And what you said about bits and pieces of it being taken out, is strictly hearsay. People have been trying to disprove the Bible for years, and it hasn’t been done, yet. … And as for all those so-called miracle workers that you speak of, they’re frauds. If one of them, just one of them, could actually show the world one miracle, the before and after, I would believe. But they can’t. They claim that they can, to scam people out of their money. … And as for me, I respect other people’s beliefs, and sincerely enjoyed reading what you had to say about the Bible. It was really interesting, I wish other people would express their beliefs.
stix said,
January 21, 2006 at 1:09 pm
ummm then who wrote the bible?
Jeff said,
January 21, 2006 at 3:46 pm
Man wrote the Bibile.
There really is no disputing that. To do so would go against the Bible itself.
The apostles wrote the Bible.
stix said,
January 21, 2006 at 5:37 pm
but Megan said “the Bible is not a book that man would write ” >.
Z said,
January 21, 2006 at 10:26 pm
Thanks jeff for speaking logically.
And megan, i know those miracle workers are frauds, that’s my point, maybe you don’t understand subtle commentry.
And yes the bible has been mistranslated quite severely.
Lets take an example: The bible never mentions anything about people bursting into new tongues at babel, and so all those people who think they are speaking in a new language at pentacostal churches are actually just being silly. It actually says that the people at babel spoke in their own languages at the time. The specific meaning was altered as the bible was translated from Hebrew into Latin and then into english by King James’s translators (when bibles first began to be printed in english). There are many, many other examples if you ask an expert on this -that is a non biased one. There are words in hebrew which have no latin translation.
Bits have been left out and rediscovered recently. Others people close to jesus and his movemnt wrote on him and simply didn’t make it into the collection of perspectives written by those that did make it into the final product.
There are powerful religious figures in other religious doctrines such as the three main buddhist doctrines, the quran and torah, and all have miracles and profound spiritual advice. like the bible they too have been in some way altered over time whether it be translation, or rearrangment or had bits left out. All are equally fallible and accurate, though none are completely useless as rough historical guides or moral guidance.
Most people don’t set out to disapprove of the bible, but rather to be objective and weigh up all things around them and come up with a rational likelihood that is best testable. Unfortunately for you megan, that rational process leads up demonstrating that the Christian belief is no more or less correct then any other mainstream doctrine.
Anyway, why am i wasting my time on your biased viewpoint, Chuck Norris wrote the good book anyways.
stix said,
January 22, 2006 at 3:20 pm
*megan dies*
im megan beaten by chuck norris said said,
January 23, 2006 at 3:23 am
Megan you have to be so freaking dumb to say the bible was not written by man, if you read the bible like you say you do which obviously it dont, read revelations, god told him what to write in the book, and it even says he god didnt want the man to write the 7th plauge or bowl or 7th sumthing i got to reread it again but its the 7th sumthing so if you really read the bible you would no god sent the man to view the end of the earth and god himself told him what to write in the bible, so back off unless you no what the bible really says
im megan beaten by chuck norris said,
January 23, 2006 at 3:24 am
and z your right about the bible being translated and stuff awsome job, i wish i wouldnt have put the said in my name on my last post though
John said,
January 23, 2006 at 1:07 pm
Megan’s right, man didn’t write the Bible. Chuck Norris did. In one sitting. He also wrote every other religious text. There’s no other explanation that makes sense.
Z said,
January 24, 2006 at 5:33 pm
John stop sucking up to chuck norris, he hates that, even though you are right.
That is all.
KYLE has a CHUCK NORRIS KITE! said,
February 1, 2006 at 5:50 am
Z are you serious? That was the dumbest anti-Christian attack I have ever heard!
1. The bible never mentions anything about people bursting into new tongues at babel, and so all those people who think they are speaking in a new language at pentacostal churches are actually just being silly. It actually says that the people at babel spoke in their own languages at the time.
The TRUTH: The new tongues happened in Acts of the Apostles and also is mentioned in Corinthians. While I believe Penecostal’s are misguided about the tongues movement they do not try to point to the Genesis account of Babel. At Babel there was one language God then confounded them. The men became confused and did not understand each other and dispersed agong the nations. That is the Genesis account for the beginings of all the early languages and has nothing to do with “speaking in tongues”.
2. The specific meaning was altered as the bible was translated from Hebrew into Latin and then into english by King James’s translators (when bibles first began to be printed in english).
The TRUTH: The whole Bible was not written in all Hebrew. The Old Testament (Torah, Law and the Prophets, whatever you want to call it) was mainly Hebrew and Chaldean while the New Testament was Koine Greek with the exception of the book of Hebrews. The second error you make is that the Bible was translated into Latin first then English. I have no clue where you got that and really the Romish Church is the only ones that used the Latin. The King James translation also was not the first english translation in print. Really the translations have been preserved which we know from many acheological finds. An example of this is the Qumran Scolls which shows the accuracy of the Old Testament preservation. The Bible has more manuscript evidence for accuracy than any other book, even more than the Illad or
Odessy by Homer.
3. There are powerful religious figures in other religious doctrines such as the three main buddhist doctrines, the quran and torah, and all have miracles and profound spiritual advice. like the bible they too have been in some way altered over time whether it be translation, or rearrangment or had bits left out. All are equally fallible and accurate, though none are completely useless as rough historical guides or moral guidance.
The TRUTH: There is not proof to bolster your claim. I happen to love the study of World religions I dont think you could name a pro or con for the veracity of any of these religions otherwise there would be a much more educated response from you.
4. Most people don’t set out to disapprove of the bible, but rather to be objective and weigh up all things around them and come up with a rational likelihood that is best testable. Unfortunately for you megan, that rational process leads up demonstrating that the Christian belief is no more or less correct then any other mainstream doctrine.
The TRUTH: In the West it is common for people to set out to disprove Christianity. I don’t really know why but that’s the facts. There seems to be a liberal society that believes religious tolerance in this day and age means except all religions as truth or accept none and make stupid claims about it, but as soon as one stands their ground and says they have a strong belief for Christianity and they respect others belief while in their mind the others are wrong, they get attacked. Being biased would be to not check into the claims of the particular religion and set out with a vendetta to bash that religion from the start. This is the category you have fallen into Z. It is obvious you have not studied the manuscripts, history or even the Bible itself or you would not have brutally battered up the truth.
postscript: Christians usually say the Bible was not written by man because of the belief that “All Scripture is God-breathed” or were the men were “moved by the Holy Spirit” thus signifying it was wholly reliant on God while man is just the tool. So in essence they can say “God wrote a book” without lying.
Aaron said,
February 2, 2006 at 3:21 am
Chuck is the shit
emmilllio said,
February 2, 2006 at 3:22 am
Im hung like chuck
what the hell is wrong with you people? said,
February 8, 2006 at 1:13 pm
christ all of you grow up! this has turned from a chuck norris flaming into a debate about religion? man you people have some serious ADD. and megan if your still even there calm down and stop preaching…PLEASE! the rest of you lay off everyone else and go look at porn or something
chuch norris sucks big hairy cock said,
February 14, 2006 at 9:50 am
what up niggahs
Megan said,
February 14, 2006 at 9:53 am
Whatever you guys, I’m just gonna go away, forever, I am seriously thinking about cutting myself. I hope your all happy.
~Megan :-(
profitofspizz said,
February 15, 2006 at 8:29 am
Before Meagan could get to a kitchen knife, the good chuck dealt a vast blow from his thrashing legs unto Megan killing Megan instantly. Thus the people rejoiced and feasted on the jams, and nuts, and berries, and sea cucumbers, and other foods that are holy to the gods, and they were grateful to the good Chuck for ridding them of the nuisance.
im megan beaten by chuck norris said,
February 24, 2006 at 11:45 am
have fun megan that is your damn problem you stupid bitch
The man up north said,
March 5, 2006 at 7:20 am
profitofspizz
Huuuray! gimme som jam !!!11!one!1!
The Pink Ranger is way cooler than Walker Texas Ranger said,
March 19, 2006 at 1:52 am
One day Chuck Norris was playing that game where you quickly and systematically stab between your fingers. However chuck Norris’s stabs managed to tear little holes in the universe, and that’s why we have stars.
Chuck Norris at Mexican food one time. He farted, and we now call that fart, the sun.
Chuck Norris says WTF said,
March 28, 2006 at 4:47 pm
Christ has a lot of great ideas to live by….its an awsome moral code
however, the church itself is full of %&*%…..the Vatican probably has enough equity in it to feed MANY MANY MANY starving people for a LONG LONG LONG time….Its a fricken pallace with art work worth more than the money there is in most countries
for many centuries the Pope would live like a king…In france for isntance before the revolution the royalty and…you guessed it, the clergy all of 2 % of the population would own some riduculous amount like 80 % of the wealth…how does that fit with Jesus???
oh thats right, greed and power DOESNT
No one said humans are perfect or that we all dont succumb to those temptations,
but the church used a blackmale of fire and brimstone to accumulate massive wealth and power over eons…..
and the biggest hypocrisy of the whole Church is the gay thing:
In the bible Jesus goes to talk and hang out with the LEPPERS….a group that was thought much like the church thinks of gays todays….he showed compasion to the leppers and showed everyone how sickness in health did not make u an evil person
yet somehow the church totally ignored that story…..didnt they???
I believe in God, Jesus and the whole nine yards….but i believe Jesus would be ashamed of the current institution of religion
profitofspizz said,
April 17, 2006 at 5:40 pm
The Good Chuck eats fire and brimstone for breakfest.
profitofspizz said,
April 17, 2006 at 5:43 pm
It keeps his cholesterol level at a healthy 128
wow said,
April 23, 2006 at 1:43 am
not that i’ll ever visit this site ever again, but u all are losers, and that megan is not wrong, technically the Bible was written down by man, but God gave the insight and told them what to write, sorta like a dictation of sorts.
now, all of u get a life.
profitofspizz said,
April 25, 2006 at 2:35 pm
yea well you touch yourself inappropriately while looking at little boys. Fuck you, you cock juggling thundercunt
Megan said,
May 6, 2006 at 5:50 am
Hello there! Someone frauded my name on Feburary 2! That wasn’t me! I’m still alive, and happy to see that my debate is, too!
I’m sorry that some of you misunderstood what I was trying to say, but obviously I don’t have to explain anything, as others have done that for me. … Thank you!
profitofspizz said,
May 10, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Meagan why don’t you go join a pro-life rally or something and leave us alone.
*growl* said,
September 21, 2006 at 6:26 am
Megan, I am really curious about this:
where do you get your infinite amount of patience and ignorance from?
And why do you keep bothering, if it clearly is having no effect whatsoever?
Sincerely,
*growl*
wenna said,
October 5, 2006 at 8:00 am
megan…
mavvaffanculo..
the bible is sso old and copied that you even now,your mind is very little..why you live in the fear to be judged by someone when you’re dead?when everyone is judged every single day?why should i live my only fucking life in the fear to be judged when i m dead..that’s a so stupid think..
Josh said,
January 17, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Guys no religion can be right or wrong please quit talking about it. You can’t bother norric about his religion he deserves to be as secretive as any other old person let him be who he is and be concerned with yourselves moreover.
Josh said,
January 17, 2007 at 11:11 pm
Norris* wow i need to put my glasses on
profitofspizz said,
August 12, 2007 at 1:09 pm
I think Megan lieks Mudkips
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R said,
January 23, 2008 at 6:42 am
It is interesting to see that “KYLE has a CHUCK NORRIS KITE!” could make sense of such a mired issue in this forum. Megan, if you are still reading any of this, sorry that your name was slandered and your views mocked. Standing up for Christ takes guts, sometimes I wonder if even Norris has that kind of courage…
krystal said,
October 2, 2008 at 5:26 am
chuck is so allsome i think
krystal