Caption This: Black Box on Google Maps

February 5th, 2006 at 11:04 pm By Doc (Humour, Around the World)

A mysterious black box has been found on Google Maps in Russia. I wonder what it could be?

Digg users have provided some suggestions. With spelling and grammar corrected, here are the good ones…

• In an attempt to hide the biggest dildo in the world, the Russians ironically gave away it’s location.
• It’s Petoria! (nice Family Guy reference.)
• Osama’s hideout.
• Eric Schmidt making out with some Russian chick (Eric Schmidt is the Chairman and CEO of Google Inc.)
• It’s FCC forcing Google to censor all the “poop, sex and fun of the fabric of American life.” (another great Family Guy reference.)
• I heard that a guy mowed a picture of a giant boob in the grass and Google had to cover it so the Chinese government would allow Google Maps in this country.
• The same people who mapped Tribes must have designed Earth too.
• Military installation in North Korea… Most likely. (Considering it’s in Russia, I’m not sure if this was intentionally funny or if the commenter was just stupid.)
• It’s where the RIAA and MPAA keep all their nonexistent evidence.
• Call up Stephen Hawking, it’s a black hole.
• That’s clearly a weather balloon.
• Chuck Norris’ house.
• A friend and I just drove up there to check it out. When we got there, there was indeed a giant black object in front of us. My fearless buddy walked up and decided to step right into the object. He just disappeared. I waited for a little while to see if he was going to come back out, but he never did.
  I guess I need to find a new friend to hang out with.
• It’s where the black mist from Lost lives.
• It’s where Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Earth.
• It’s obviously your mom.
• 1 gigantic black rectangle. (uh duh.)
• It’s the edge of the internet. The rest leads to another dimension of nothing but dialup.
• God’s shadow…. yes he’s rectangular.
• If you look really carefully in the rectangle you can see the other side… Australia perhaps…
• It’s Google’s first military base to help them take over the world.
• That’s where Waldo hangs out when he doesn’t want to be found.
• It could be just a large sheet of black plastic… for growing vegetables??
• Just be careful not to fall through, I’m not quite certain they have all the respawn bugs fixed up IRL.
• Smurfville?
• Well, swamp gas is reflecting off the light from Venus, and refraction from the camera angle combined with a substantial digital artifact produced a negative illumination anomaly which, while rare, is clearly not impossible.
• There used to be land there, and then Chuck Norris decided to mow his yard.
• Crop circles…. uhmm… but in the mountains. (and rectangular?)
• Every jigsaw puzzle has the last piece missing… probably on the floor somewhere
• It’s a big pool of oil that those crafty Commie bastards have been hiding from us…
• In Soviet Russia, black boxes conceal YOU
• Whatever it is, it must be SHINY!!
• It is the Soylent Green Processing Facility.
• It’s a black farm. It’s where all of the black comes from. You know, for like crayons and black ink and stuff. It also happens to be where Carbon Black comes from.
  Yeah, yeah, you *thought* black came from Africa. Nope, it really comes from Siberia.
• Google is turning the Earth into the Death Star! That’s one of the landing strips; the blurred circle is one of the lasers.
• I recognize this… it must be a mine. You know, the source of those black rectangles they use to protect the identities of individuals, typically covering the eyes, in video and print.
• It’s black cause it hasn’t been explored yet, like on Starcraft.
• It’s a monolith like the one in 2001: A Space Odyssey. It’s just waiting for chimpanzees to crowd around it.
• Carmen Sandiego lives there.
• Damn fog of war. I tried blacksheepwall, but it didn’t work. I’m sending a few tanks up there. (”blacksheepwall” is a cheat in Starcraft that makes the entire map visible.)
• If they would move that big black rectangle out of the way I could tell you.
• I’m pretty sure it is Russell Crowe decapitating a garden worker.
• I lifted up the whole map to look under the box and there it was, my desktop.
• God damn it - Now I have to move the freaking body again - Don’t you people have anything better to do?
• It’s the world of Warcraft!
• GLOBAL WARMING!!!
• Well, it’s only 3,372 miles away from me. Maybe I’ll just pop over there tomorrow and see what it is.
• Dude, that’s just what the countryside looks like!
• Black Rooftops, Inc.
• Santa’s secret beach house.
• It’s hiding Kirstie Alley! It has to be.
• Wow - so Earth is really a giant piggy bank!
• I think we might have found Oprah’s new sun bathing spot.
• It’s definitely the shadow of a ship in the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
• Maybe Google ran out of money.
• Maybe it’s not hiding anything at all, maybe it’s a very large black building. With ninjas in it!
• The earth has private parts to ya’ know.
• It is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
• Obviously it’s Mother Earth’s vagina.
• That’s the space where you enter and instantly get a free bj from Jessica Alba, so naturally the Google guys want to hide it from the general public, it’s too good.
• This is obviously the place that where “the sun don’t shine” that people visit to leave stuff.
• Willy Wonka’s actual chocolate factory - where else would he find all those Oompa Loompas.
• I don’t know what it is, but I want to have sex with it.
• Don’t worry, it’s been patched in Earth 2.0.
• Pimp My Planet: where they installed the largest flat screen display ever made.
  Xzibit will be the first rapper visible from space.

And mine:

• Guess what Dad! Dale dug a hole!

Any more suggestions?