Anti-Chuck Norris Quotes
Chuck Norris’ semen cures cancer. Too bad he has erectile disfunction.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He lies awake in regret.
Chuck Norris is currently suing ABC, claiming Hope & Faith are trademarked names for his left and right breasts.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is diarrhea.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may not realize how much he’s actually aged.
Chuck Norris attempted to count to infinity. Backwards. He didn’t know where to start.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the chance of success. Chuck Norris wanders around aimlessly with a gun.
Chuck Norris’ blood type is AK-47. The gun. It is compatible only with bullets. Chuck Norris is full of holes.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Grand Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man drives a flubing Jeep.
In fine print on the last page of the Farmers’ Almanac it notes that annual rainfall figures do not include the tears shed by Chuck Norris, and the figures listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has gotten to subtracting out such overwhelming excess.
There is a double chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. No wonder he doesn’t shave.
[Source]
profitofspizz said,
May 8, 2006 at 6:54 am
Chuck Norris is gonna continue to age. One day he will die, Probibly of heart failure.
Remus Christ Bitches! said,
May 18, 2006 at 11:40 am
Chuck Norris doesn’t wipe his ass. He doesn’t!
Chuck Norris isn’t gay. He’s a flaming red-headed faggot!
RevStan said,
May 21, 2006 at 5:32 am
Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, but the Grim Reaper was afraid to tell him.
Travis said,
May 22, 2006 at 10:38 pm
I hope you know now it’s on like donkey kong
this page of Anti-Chuckism is blasfemy
there will be action taken *kicks chair* thats right i kicked your chair
this is disgusting
your ruining hopes of young chuckilics around the worlds
I am dissapointed and P***ed off
This isnt over
Kristie Norris said,
May 22, 2006 at 10:44 pm
Oh didnt see you there *turns around*. Hi im kristie im here to inform you that this site takes your money every 1.30 minutes you are on here. Do not come back here.
Chuck Norris is with me now and tells me that you are all in big trouble. Chuck Norris may have a red flame on his head but it will burn you mentally so get lost. i hate your site and i hate you. now leave before i see your ugly face. whats that Chuck Norris? its on like donkey kong? i know. :) :)
IF YOU WANT put like
yeah c’mon! hold me back hold me back!
*hits chest in threat* *pulls coat up like on movies* this isnt over man!
woops i added the if you want, sorry ;)
Travis said,
May 22, 2006 at 10:45 pm
If you want to argue if Chuck norris is a legend or not
hurley_boy66@hotmail.com
**Chuck norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis that US post and Australian Post have delivered in the past 200 years
Chuck Norris said,
May 22, 2006 at 10:45 pm
…
Kristie said said,
May 22, 2006 at 10:47 pm
If you have problems you can also contact me:
ever_last44@hotmail.com
Travis said,
May 22, 2006 at 10:49 pm
SEE THAT
he shut everyone up by just THREE DOTS
WOAH
thats right
profitofspizz said,
May 30, 2006 at 4:46 am
Those three dots represent the size of Chuck Norris’s dick.
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:19 pm
Chuck Norris is the rainbow after a rainstorm
Chuck Norris turned down to a gillete commercial , and the reason is because he wanted to shave, but he can’t shave because his beard will cut the razors.
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:23 pm
When Chuck Norris goes out to catch butterfly’s, he doesn’t use the net, he uses his spinning back kick with a double punch…… followed by a headbutt. The butterfly’s voted to send their military after, he’s destroyed many butterfly army’s.
Chuck Norris is so bad, he’ll never die of cancer, he causes it.
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:24 pm
when chuck norris goes to bed, he doesn’t use a pillow, he sleeps on stones.
chuck norris is so tough, he doesn’t hop in a jacuzzi, he hops in a volcano
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:26 pm
For breakfast, the start of chuck norris’s day is, he start’s off by tearing open his box of wheaties with his mouth without his shirt in the freezing cold, he pours them into a trash can, add’s gasoline instead of milk.
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Magic Johnson has kept his AIDS in remission because chuck norris is fighting for him.
Chuck Norris is so tough , he once had to help superman, and lex luther tried to use kryptonite on him, but he didn’t die.
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Chuck Norris is so tough,when he joggs he slaps his own balls with a hammer because the pain motivates his workout.
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:36 pm
Chuck Norris is so tough, when he’s finished taking a shit, instead of wiping his ass with toilet paper, he uses sandpaper with broken glass
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:38 pm
During the show Walker texas ranger debuted crime in Texas dropped to zero percent because they feared the single most deadly force in the universe would come to get them, the crime yet is still to go up!!!!!!!!(When the Eyes Of The Ranger Are Upon You,Any Wrong You Do He’s Gonna See)!!!!!!!
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:43 pm
chuck norris dosent use pots or pans when he cooks eggs he cracks them into his hand and places it over the burner.
ChaDaPalooZa said,
June 4, 2006 at 12:45 pm
In recent years the US military has treid to clone chuck norris. this group of colnes is led by Gen. Norris on many campagins abroad.
Mason McWilliams said,
July 1, 2006 at 4:46 am
Concerning the comment by Chuck on May 22nd…..Those 3 dots represent the number of PERIODS that Chuck Norris has had in this past year.
Dirk Diggla said,
July 1, 2006 at 4:56 am
What’s up with the slapping his ball with a hammer comment……Hell, I say we slap his tiny balls with a sledge hammer so that we clean up the Gene Pool and Chuck can not contaminate the EARTH with anymore offspring. HA!
The ass jacket. said,
September 1, 2006 at 3:07 am
Your all so fucking gay. Chuck Norris is just like any other actor in the world, gay qoutes arent gunna change shit.
blue said,
September 1, 2006 at 3:07 am
Chuck norris doesnt sleep,he waits
Chuck norris oce asked for a big mac at burgerking, and he got it
lilchuck said,
January 17, 2007 at 1:19 am
chuck norris only wacks off to pictures of chuck norris
profitofspizz said,
August 12, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Chuck Norris’s semen cures cancer. It’s just too bad he has an erectile disfunction.
boby said,
September 5, 2008 at 5:26 am
u suck chuck norris is the best
boby said,
September 5, 2008 at 5:27 am
screw allof you chuck norris will kill u