Anti-Chuck Norris Quotes
Chuck Norris’ semen cures cancer. Too bad he has erectile disfunction.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He lies awake in regret.
Chuck Norris is currently suing ABC, claiming Hope & Faith are trademarked names for his left and right breasts.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is diarrhea.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may not realize how much he’s actually aged.
Chuck Norris attempted to count to infinity. Backwards. He didn’t know where to start.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the chance of success. Chuck Norris wanders around aimlessly with a gun.
Chuck Norris’ blood type is AK-47. The gun. It is compatible only with bullets. Chuck Norris is full of holes.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Grand Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man drives a flubing Jeep.
In fine print on the last page of the Farmers’ Almanac it notes that annual rainfall figures do not include the tears shed by Chuck Norris, and the figures listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has gotten to subtracting out such overwhelming excess.
There is a double chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. No wonder he doesn’t shave.
[Source]
Steven Colbert Links
“….It’s not just that Colbert’s jokes were hitting their mark. We already know that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, that the generals hate Rumsfeld, or that Fox News lists to the right. Those cracks are old and boring. What Colbert did was expose the whole official, patriotic, right-wing, press-bashing discourse as a sham, as more ‘truthiness’ than truth.”
-Michael Scherer, Salon Magazine
For any of you who don’t know, Steven Colbert took a huge dig at George Bush at a dinner he was attending the other night. The mainstream media has pretty much pretended it didn’t happen, apart from a few little pieces of info, but the blogosphere is eating it up.
[Transcript of what he said]
The Video: Part1 Part2 Part3
[Salon Article]
[Video Torrent]
Why We Haven’t Met Aliens
Seed has a really interesting article on why we haven’t, and are unlikely to, meet any ET’s in the near future.
[Link]
C is For Cookie - Sesame Street V for Vendetta Trailer Rip Off
(On another note, I’m increasingly posting videos here instead of linking to them. Primarily because of great new features provided by youtube and google video. Any thoughts on it?)
