How I Got My PS3
An awesome story from ebay…
i went out wednesday afternoon to the local walmart to start camping out. when i got there, there were already 12 people ther so i got in line being number 13. i talked around and found out the first 6 people there had been there since monday, total hardcore nerds all planning to keep them. bragging about how only they should get the system since theyve been there the longest. how they are so dedicated and how if you dont want to do the time, you shouldnt get a system. generally being complete assholes. good for them. we had a hours to pass so we became friends and played some cards and whatnot. the 6 guys in front kept to themselves and didnt associate with the rest of us. we were cool with each other leaving the line to get food, bathroom, smoke, etc since we all knew each other and as long as they were back in 30 minutes. i was about to leave to go buy some KFC for a good number of us and when i stepped out of line, one of the nerds shouted that if i left, i would lose my spot. the other guys told him that they were vouching for me and that i was just getting food but those 6 assholes didnt care. they said i leave, i lose my spot and that was the rules and they would call the manager (they had his number) to come out and enforce it. i said whatever and stayed in line.
a few hours later, the manager came out and told everyone that there were only going to be SEVEN available. they have them in their store and theyre not getting anymore. he told the people after # 7 they should leave if they wanted to not waste their time. me being number 13 should have left but i didnt, i wanted to stick around for a little bit more. everyone else left except me and the 7 other people that were getting it for sure. so the day goes on and i try to make friends with the nerds. i play mario kart on the ds with them and talk to them about the games they were getting. about an hour or 2 later, i tell im gonnna head home since im 8 in line and theres only 7 ps3s. one of them made some stupid joke about if i leave the line then i aint getting back in!! har har. so as im about to leave, i tell them im going to the vons next door and if any of them wanted any food or coffee and id bring it back to them. one of them said yea and all the rest like sheep followed and said yes too. they were gonna give me money but i told them it was on me since theyve been out here since monday. the 7th guy in line wanted some food and coffee and i told him id buy some for him also.
so i go to vons and buy 8 coffees, some food, and some x-lax laxatives. i bring it to my car and put some laxatives in 6 of the coffees and seperate them from mine and #7s. i pull back to walmart and bring all the drinks and food upfront. i give #7 his stuff and then the coffees with laxatives to the 6 nerds annd wish them good luck and go back to my car. i park it around the corner so i can still see them.
about 30 minutes later, #2 and 3 in line get up and it seemed like they were yelling to the other nerds. they both ran into walmart. seconds later (i guess all nerds have the same biology) #5 gets up and runs across the parking lot and into the trees and bushes somewhere. #1 is scrounging for this portapotty type thing he’d brought with him but he is squirting everywhere and all over his pants and their sleeping bags. he runs into walmart. at this time, i start my car and drive back to the walmart to claim my spot in line. when i get there #4 and 6 are gone but i dont know where. #7 is laughing his ass off so hard and i just smile at him. i call up 5 of the other people that i had made friends with that were in line with me ( i had their phone numbers cause i was gonne buy to food for everyone) and told them to get back to the walmart ASAP and get in line. Meanwhile, me and #7 threw all their shit into the parking lot and i claimed my spot as #1, him as #2. 4 and the people i had called arrived and got in line just as 1 of the nerds came running back and got #7. he started yelling saying they need their spots back. we all told them to fuck off, out of spot, out of line. it was all of us against him so he didnt say shit. the nerds came back and tried to start some shit but we just laughed, we told them it was their rule and to go fuck themselves and clean the shit off their pants. the called security and security came. security man was like WTF is that fuckin smell and looked at the nerds with shit all of them and kicked them off the grounds screaming LMAO. so that is how i got my ps3.
jeff said,
December 21, 2006 at 10:23 am
you are my hero….pure genius!
hahahahahahaha
BlacKat said,
December 23, 2006 at 2:45 am
Simply phenomenal…that is f*cking genious!!!!
fadfs said,
December 29, 2006 at 8:58 pm
you are a fucking artist
Madison Cruz said,
August 28, 2007 at 1:58 am
You have an outstanding good and well structured site. I enjoyed browsing through it.
Natalie David said,
August 28, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Well done!
Gabriel Borges said,
August 28, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Thank you!
Eva Zumwinkel said,
August 28, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Thank you!
Kevin said,
September 13, 2007 at 10:48 am
That’s pure genius. Those fuckers got what they deserved. Good job!
J said,
September 15, 2007 at 5:43 am
Fucking genius dude
dsfsdffsd said,
September 18, 2007 at 12:58 am
FUCKING AWESOME!
Steve said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:19 am
As the old saying goes, “you give some shit, you get some shit”
Absolutely superb
what the hell said,
September 18, 2007 at 12:38 pm
thats a horrible thing to do. those kids had been there for days and days and days, and they don’t get what they waited for because one of them wanted you to stay in line? not only that, but you wouldn’t have ended up getting the thing anyway? thats basically just a dick move for no reason, way to be a human being.
Dave said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:45 pm
To “What the hell”
Who cares how long they were there. They were being totally rude to the rest of the people who weren’t as hardcore-no-job-havin as them. The problem with America today is that no one is willing to stand up to rude fucks like that. Those people deserved to get fucked with for being such ass-hats.
If I’m that much of a dick, I hope to get served just as justly.
Rude?! said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Why are they rude? Because they stood in line?
Idiotic, sure.. but rude? No.
You sir, are a real winner at life and I’m sure you will turn out to be a fantastic human being once you hit 18.
Scott said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:36 pm
If they were nice about it and cool, like the others, then this would be fucked up, but they were being assholes and got what they deserved. Good show man.
Joe said,
September 18, 2007 at 10:49 pm
From Rude?!:
” Why are they rude? Because they stood in line?
Idiotic, sure.. but rude? No. ”
Did you actually read the story. They were complete assholes to him
Oh and the character attacks about maturity really hit the spot, are you sure you weren’t in the line and that’s what you’re complaining about. Just let it go, they were dicks and they got what they deserved, end of.
Matt said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:16 pm
You believe for one second that he actually did this?
Seismicmike said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Nice quick thinking!! They totally deserved that!
Danny said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Read this short story before going to bed and i just have to say that, That was the best damn bedtime story i have EVER read. Hilarious and much props, i wish i had the nerve to do that when i had a similar problem trying to get the Iphone, which i btw last minute decided not to get and just left the line.
ray blackburn said,
September 20, 2007 at 12:12 pm
lmao, very good idea, i love it.
Jeff said,
September 21, 2007 at 1:58 am
Good story and all…
But if you have ever used or seen Ex-lax it is general knowledge that no matter how the medicine is ingested or introduced to the body it takes well over 6-12 hours to produce the slightest effects. Changing the dose or making it dissolve faster in a liquid will effectively render the pill(s) useless in any scenario because if you dilute it in anyway it looses it’s potency.
Good try tho. This did not happen, or if it did it was drastically different.
Evan said,
September 21, 2007 at 6:28 am
Re: Jeff
so you’re saying that if the exlax is diluted AT ALL it is rendered useless?
what do you think happens to it in the stomach? does it stay isolated in a nice little bubble?
feletoch said,
September 21, 2007 at 5:42 pm
HEY I am one of the nerd you are taking about!!!!
just joking…. you are awesome dude.
JJ said,
September 22, 2007 at 6:55 am
This is the lamest story I have ever read. Anyone who would believe this BS is a loser.
You need to work on your story telling because that truly sucked.
Alicia said,
September 22, 2007 at 7:19 am
Very funny! Thanks for the laugh! I know a few people who do actually stand in line for days for those things… I can just picture that happening to them!
Jeff said,
September 22, 2007 at 10:46 am
Yes, I am stating that if the medicine is diluted in any way it is rendered useless. before ingestion the medicine must stay in an encapsulated form to actually allow it to enter the stomach. If you place it in a hot drink or chop it up it will simply disperse around your esophagus and be completely useless- this may even cause some adverse effects such as vomiting and the improper digestion of food.
So no… it does NOT “Stay in a a nice little bubble” it never makes it there in the first place.
MikedaSnipe said,
September 22, 2007 at 11:50 am
… Jeff…
ex-lax is LIQUID
many medicines are to be taken with FOOD
And what do you think it does in the esophagus anyways? just chills there? HELL NO IT GOES DOWN! As known to anyone who has passed elementry school science, hell even watched bill-nye knows the espophagus constantly pushes its contents down.
I passed elementry school science, so, in your face.
But this story is BS, ex-lax doesn’t work that fast.
P.S. Total geeks are better then you asshole resellers. I have, and will continue to sock jerks in the face and run like hell.
trainwreck said,
September 22, 2007 at 1:45 pm
…mikeda…
Total geeks are better then you asshole resellers. I have, and will continue to sock jerks in the face and run like hell.
o real tough hit and run…. a real man wouldnt punch and run like hell… its fuckers like you that punch for fun…. run like a girl and brag to your friends about how tough you are but in reality ur just a 12 year old boy who cant lift 30 pounds and makes shit up only to not get another asshole riped by the people you say u punch.
good story
Erik said,
September 22, 2007 at 7:11 pm
this made my morning! very well done :D
nerds without heart deserve that treatment!
Justin said,
September 23, 2007 at 12:07 am
I don’t know if this is true, but extremely funny nevertheless.
Deano said,
September 27, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Exlax sometimes comes in chocolate tabs, so yes, dilution will not hurt it. Actually dilution adds fluid and will increase the effect. I encourage my patients to dilute with large quantities of fluid. However, had one of your victims had the presence of mind to keep a sample of what they had drunk, they would have probably been within their rights to file criminal charges against you. I should say alleged victims. For about the last 10 years or so, the original formulary of phenolphthalein has been replaced by senna and bisacodyl due to cancer scares. Neither of these ingredients would have worked as quickly as the story. Hey but it was worth a laugh until I thought about it. I only hope no one even dares to actually try this. Criminal assault charges are no joke.
Marjorie Doors said,
September 28, 2007 at 5:06 am
Very creative.
Shane said,
September 29, 2007 at 4:02 am
Mikedasnipe……. I’m glad u passed elementary school science….however perhaps u should have paid a little more attention in English class. It’s elementary…..
thejasman said,
September 30, 2007 at 12:35 pm
this story is SO BULLSHIT
... said,
October 1, 2007 at 11:16 pm
guys who gives a shit if its real or how ex laxs work or w/e just enjoy it
PpChKn said,
October 6, 2007 at 10:49 am
dude, seriously, thumbs up, and cheers!!!
so fkng clever!!!
^^ congrats, really
Jon said,
October 25, 2007 at 1:18 am
Why?
It’s a PS3. I wouldn’t do shit to get a PS3, short of accepting it as a free gift on my doorstep.