Posted By Admin
5:33 PM
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Thursday, March 24, 2005
| Dear Ms. Architect: Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one. Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them). As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.) Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator. To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make. Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: Get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue. Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be completed within 48 hours. While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house that he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost. Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes. You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans. PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect. PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case. |
| I'm feeling really lazy today. Its 11am and I haven't really gotten out of bed yet. Im sitting here typing on my laptop in bed. The height of laziness I might add. Its 11:04, and I need to leave home at 12:15 to get my train if I decide to go to uni for this lecture. Its a lecture I really couldn't be frucked going too... but we'll see. I have a programming assignment in scheme due in about a week, and i honestly have no idea what I am doing. And my next week is busy :| mmm... 11:08 now. I'm quite bored... I might go clean my flat... have some wheat bix, have a shower, copy some music to my lappy for the train ride and then force myself to drive to the station, get on the train and go to me lecture. Horah! |
| Posted By Admin 11:10 AM | 0 comments |
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
| A $1.25 million reward has been offered for proof the Tasmanian tiger is still alive. The Bulletin has offered the bounty in an attempt to solve what it calls one of Australia's most enduring mysteries. The Tasmanian tiger, or thylacine, has worked its way into Australian mythology since being deemed extinct in 1936. There have been more than 4000 claimed sightings since the last thylacine died in captivity in Hobart that year. The latest unverified claim was made last month by a German tourist who said he photographed a thylacine while bushwalking in Tasmania's Lake St Clair." Continued... |
| Posted By Admin 8:12 PM | 0 comments |
Monday, March 21, 2005
| Despite acts of great heroism, three British soldiers returned from the Falkland Islands without being decorated. The captain called them into his office to explain. 'Bit of a cock-up in the medals department, chaps,' he said, 'so the regiment has decided to give you ten pounds sterling for each inch of measurement between any two parts of your bodies. Private, which measurement for you?' 'Tip of me toes to the top of me head, sah!' 'That's 720 pounds. Well done, private. Corporal?' 'Tip of one hand to the tip of the other, me arms outstretched, sah!' The captain took the measurement. 'Six feet, two inches....740 pounds. Very good, corporal. Sergeant, how about you?' 'Tip of me prick to me balls, sah!' 'Very well. Drop your trousers, then.' The captain put his tape measure at one end of the man's penis, then looked up and asked, 'Where are your balls, Sergeant?' 'Goose Green, Falklands, sah! |
| Posted By Admin 6:11 PM | 0 comments |
| I'm selling my car... Comes with free aircon... I'm considering all offers. Picture here: Car1Aerial |
| Posted By Admin 5:19 PM | 0 comments |
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